What should you be focusing on now? If & when does divorce regret set in?
You should be highly considering your divorce legacy. I find that one of the greatest challenges that we have as parents is protecting and sheltering our children from unnecessary chaos and drama. And for some families, more than others, I guess, the drama could be severely amplified or severely exaggerated in some way. So, what do we do? What do we do as parents? What’s our strategy? How do we take care of this solution?
My best advice is that you teach your children resilience. You teach them what life is all about.
This is your golden opportunity to teach them about the differences in characters, personalities, how to deal with conflict, resolution of conflict or of situations. And this is the time when they’re more likely willing to talk to you, right? They want to hear your advice.
My top 3 tips for divorcing the right way:
- Understand that the children don’t know what we know. They’re not adults, so let’s not treat them as such. They’re children and they shall remain children. That means that there has to be a differentiation between the way you speak to them, and what you expect of them, and what you expect of the other parent.So, my top three tips are as follows when it comes to kids:
2. Your children are not your work colleagues. They are not your business associates. Don’t ask them to start emailing you details. That’s just ridiculous. That’s just way past crazy. Okay?
3. This is your golden opportunity right now to teach your children something new, something different. What legacy do you want to leave behind to your children? What do you want them to know? What do you want them to learn? What do you want them to do? What do you want them to avoid when it comes to conflict? What do you want them to understand better? What lesson do you want them to learn from this particular situation? All the solutions I just gave you are there with one main theme to help you amplify the positivity to your children. How do you overly exaggerate the positivity, so that you could remove the negative and the draining that comes from the fighting and the bickering between the parents or between the family dynamic. Remember this. Amplify the positivity. While your children are young, they’re sponges; they’re going to listen to you. They haven’t kicked you out of their heads yet, right?
So, they’re allowing you into their heart. They’re allowing you into their head. Take the opportunity to teach them. What is the legacy you want to leave behind? What do you want them to remember from that particular situation?
Why is dating after divorce so hard?
When you kids are not settled and stable, your life will feel the same way. It will feel rocky and make it that much more difficult to move forward. This is a tool that I used to take away the pain and hurt I felt I was imposing on my children and found the good.. even though at I have to admit, that at first, I thought this would be impossible.
I get asked often…
How to get over a divorce you didn’t want?
When you focus on the happiness of your children and you focus on what kind of life you want to create for all of you, and more importantly , what LEGACY you want to leave behind, you will find your answer to this question.
I summarize your BEST strategies in these 3 divorce worksheets will help you tremendously by looking at how to logically plan your divorce, how to get your divorce finances and budget in order and also, the 5 Key Strategies to AVOID a nasty divorce