Things often overlooked in divorce agreements: stop comparing!
Do you know how many times I’ve heard people saying to me “my divorce was so much worse than yours” “mine was worse than his and hers and everyone else’s collectively” “because you know that my ex did” “you know what he did” “you know what she said”?
Well, bottom line is I have to tell you that every divorce is terrible. There’s probably a very tiny percentage and a very minor number of divorces that actually come out with telling beautiful stories and that’s because we just don’t know how to divorce. So I say we don’t know how to marry and we certainly don’t know how to divorce either, so bottom line is don’t compare your divorce stories.
Amicable divorce meaning comes from understanding this:
You know why? Because it’s not important because it’s not going to help you move forward with life. It’s not going to help you with your solutions and it’s not going to help you to move forward towards that post-divorce life that you’re dreaming of. If you want to listen to other people’s stories as an inspiration, as guidance, as learning their experiences, as learning their wisdom and the tools that they use that worked by far that is the smartest thing that you can do.
But if you want to play the comparison game with someone else because you’re looking for pity or empathy or you think that you’re gonna get extra brownie points against your ex, I have to tell you something – you’re wasting your time. It’s not gonna work, it’s not gonna do you any good. Take the valuable lessons that other people have learned apply them to yourself – learn how to evolve, transform, and grow through your divorce. Build yourself a beautiful post-divorce life and that’s how you win at your divorce.
Some couples are still living together after divorce while others could not even fathom this idea.
This is why comparing details does NOT help you. For instance, some people may nmot struggle in their divorce and others, like myself, may have been traumatized by the looping sagas.
It is equally important to determine what your next steps should be and one common mistake that I would love for you to avoid is to understand whether you only need a therapist or a lawyer right now.
Discover how to make such a decision with LOGIC rather than with emotions by completing these divorce worksheets in 3 easy steps: Logically Planning Your Divorce, Getting Your Divorce Finances and Budget in Order, and watch the videos in our FREE signature course, 5 Key Strategies to AVOID a nasty divorce