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Some parents get easily agitated by minor issues, while others maintain composure even in the midst of intense divorce sagas or worse yet, battles.
How do they achieve this?
The answer lies in their habits.
If you desire a more relaxed life, read, learn and explore HOW to adopt these 10 habits in your life:
- They prioritize their well-being:
Calm individuals place a high value on themselves. They possess self-love, not in a self-centered or careless manner, but in a way that benefits everyone. By prioritizing their own needs first and ensuring their physical, mental, and spiritual health, they recognize that neglecting even one aspect can disrupt everything else. Consequently, they remain calmer and enjoy better overall health.
- They remind themselves they are not alone:
Those burdened by the weight of the world often believe they must face challenges alone. This sense of isolation can lead to immense stress.
However, individuals who stay calm in trying situations understand that they don’t have to handle everything by themselves. They turn to professional help of a therapist, or of a divorce coach who can provide immediate assistance.
These individuals are surrounded by a network of “neutral” people who are genuinely invested in their success, particularly during the most challenging times.
This awareness lightens their load and enables them to remain calm amid any storm.
So, remember that you are not alone—this realization alone can work wonders in keeping anxiety at bay.
- They embrace the art of letting go of control:
A fundamental belief held by calm individuals is that while they can’t control every situation, they can control how they react to it. This wisdom serves as a daily reminder for them.
Understanding that trying to control everything is an impossible feat, calm people consciously avoid the pursuit of such control. They recognize that fixating on control would only lead to a miserable existence—an outcome they actively seek to avoid.
When faced with unfavorable circumstances, even something as trivial as being stuck in traffic, they refrain from reacting as if their entire savings were stolen from the bank. Instead, they choose to let go and view it as an opportunity to practice releasing their grip on control.
In more challenging situations, like discovering a partner’s infidelity, they resist the urge to incessantly monitor their every move. They embrace the notion that if their relationship is meant to endure, their partner will not repeat their actions. Conversely, if the relationship is not meant to be, they understand that no amount of control can prevent the inevitable.
Different techniques work for different individuals in achieving this state of letting go. Some opt for deep breaths, while others find solace in repeating mantras such as “I let go of control” or “I will only control what I can.”
4) They assess the significance of the situation:
Calm individuals possess a remarkable ability to discern the true importance of a given situation. They have an innate understanding that most things, upon closer examination, fall into the category of “small stuff.”
When faced with an urgent call from their ex, they pause for a moment of reflection and inquire, “Is this truly an emergency?” They recognize that while the matter may require immediate attention, it rarely constitutes a life-or-death situation.
This self-questioning becomes a regular practice whenever they encounter a potential stressor. By doing so, they quickly ascertain whether the situation genuinely merits excessive concern. If they conclude that it isn’t as crucial as it initially seemed, they effortlessly shift into a state of ease and composure.
5) They avoid magnifying minor issues:
Calm individuals possess the ability to maintain perspective and avoid blowing things out of proportion. They don’t escalate a minor incident into a major catastrophe in a matter of seconds.
For example, if their ex mentions that little Sally forgot her pink shoes at their house, they won’t immediately jump to the conclusion that it’s done intentionally to punish the other parent They understand that mistakes happen and that if this becomes a habit, new strategies are required.
This is a more rational thought process. They recognize that worrying excessively is unnecessary and that living in constant fear, worry or anxiety over “what he said or what she did” is not conducive to a fulfilling life.
They wisely conserve their energy, saving it for when they truly need to address a problem rather than expending it on unnecessary worrying.
6) They acknowledge the transient nature of everything:
Calm individuals often remind themselves that everything in life is temporary.
By recognizing the finite nature of their time on Earth, they are less inclined to worry about every trivial matter. Problems and setbacks appear smaller in their perspective, allowing them to shift their focus towards the positive aspects of life.
Moreover, understanding that difficult times are also impermanent grants them greater resilience and patience in their current circumstances. Merely knowing that there is an eventual end to their suffering provides them with the motivation to persevere.
If you seek to cultivate a sense of calm, repeatedly remind yourself that “this, too, shall pass.” Embracing the idea that both joyous and challenging moments are transient can help you navigate life’s ups and downs with a greater sense of tranquility.
7) They practice self-soothing techniques:
Not everyone who exudes calmness is inherently predisposed to it. Some individuals may have experienced heightened anxiety in their younger years but have developed coping strategies to effectively calm themselves down. Additionally, the parents who receive guidance and support of a divorce coach use them as the virtual “punching bag” when times get tough: it is far better to vent to a neutral party than with loved ones who will most likely hold grudges.
Calm individuals consciously engage in activities that have a soothing effect, particularly during stressful situations. These methods vary from person to person, ranging from listening to metal music, seeking comfort from plush toys, to engaging in vigorous exercise such as running for an extended period.
If you frequently find yourself overwhelmed, would you consider incorporating this habit into your routine?
8) They affirm their intrinsic worth beyond their actions:
Placing our self-worth solely on our accomplishments can be exhausting. Constantly worrying about whether we are good enough and seeking validation from others becomes a heavy burden to bear.
When someone offers negative feedback on our work, it can significantly impact our emotional well-being because we associate our identity closely with what we do. Taking things personally becomes challenging to avoid.
While self-reflection on our performance is valuable, the constant desire to always be the best can create anxiety within us.
Calm individuals firmly believe that they possess inherent value beyond their achievements. They recognize that their worth is not solely defined by their work or external validation.
9) They discover beauty and humor in every situation:
Calm individuals possess an innate ability to find beauty and humor in all aspects of life, often without even realizing it.
When faced with demanding single parent home-work balance, they might think to themselves, “Sure, I’m overworked and tired, but at least I have the chance to spend time with my children, on my own terms.”
This natural inclination is something we should all aspire to possess.
The good news is that you can cultivate this mindset by consciously training yourself to find humor and beauty in various situations. It may initially be challenging, especially if it doesn’t align with your natural disposition. However, with practice and determination, it can gradually become a habit.
If you truly desire to become a calmer person, make an effort to incorporate more humor into your life and consciously seek out the beauty in everyday moments.
10) They diversify their focus:
Relying solely on one aspect of life can lead to a sense of vulnerability and dependency. In such cases, we become slaves to the very things we rely on. For instance, if on our custody week, our child suddenly becomes ill, we are likely to panic if we are to miss a work deadline or call in sick which could jeopardize our career.
Similarly, if we have a close friend with whom we vent to regularly, we might experience anxiety when they start to distance themselves.
Calm individuals understand the importance of diversification. They ensure that they have multiple sources of support, so even if their child wakes up sick that morning, since they have a backup plan, they can remain composed. While they still strive to perform well, it does not trigger a full-blown anxiety attack.
Likewise, having a neutral network of reliable professionals (instead of relying on a friend) means that the impact of one friend becoming distant is significantly diminished.
Calm people prioritize their security by spreading their focus across various aspects of their lives. Instead of putting all their eggs in one basket, they distribute them strategically. This way, if something unfortunate happens in one area, they can still maintain their composure and resilience.
>> If you feel stuck or uncertain, remember that support, guidance and direction is only one click away from joining our divorce community: http://www.divorcebyrose.com