You need to know this when to file a divorce and when to focus on your budget
We don’t know unless you have a crystal ball and you’re able to predict the future, you won’t know. And if you think to yourself: I’m going to spend $5,000 or $10,000, and I’m going to stop, I can tell you that it’s probably not going to happen unless you adopt the right strategies from the very beginning. And what are those strategies? Well, if you’re going out into your divorce with this thought that “you’re right and the judge is going to do exactly what you think that they’re going to do and that you’re only going to go once to court and that’s it, it’s going to be over, it’s going to be done with”, I’ll tell you you’re wrong because once you go into court, one time, you’re opening up Pandora’s box and you just don’t know when you’re going to be coming OUT of that situation. So, what can you do instead? Well, you can learn to “respond” versus “react” to situations.
How to divorce peacefully without it costing a fortune:
Rather than like flaring up and being triggered by what the other parent says, learn to respond, speak the way I’m speaking with you right now. Right? So, if you’re able to respond to situations in a very cool, logical manner, and that you’re going to think things through and get back to them when you have an answer, you’re not responding versus reacting and like blowing up to whatever people are saying to you. The second thing is that if you have a goal in mind and your goal is very, very clear, you’re always going to want to move towards your goal. Right? You’re always going to want to move ahead to get closer and closer towards that goal.
If you don’t have a goal in mind and not very detailed and specific, you’re kind of like running on a whim. And so that means that anything happens you may just digress and detour a little bit because you’ll feel like, oh, that’s okay, I should be doing that right now. But when you have a goal in mind and you know where you want to end up being, you’re never going to want to take any other detours that are going to take time away from you to get towards your end goal.
So, your end goal is like your eyes are always on that target. You always want to get as fast as possible towards that. So that means that you’re not going to fight over the little stupid things that are nonsensical, you’re not going to start battles and wars that are going to cost thousands and thousands of dollars and waste months of your time, because you know that there’s no point or purpose to it.
An amicable divorce checklist starts with:
Once you have a focus, it makes it easier to also coexist with the other parent. And here’s the golden nugget of this video. I know it’s hard to co-parent and I know that the whole topic of co-parenting is a very questionable situation where you’re wondering; can you even co-parent with the other parent. I say from the beginning, your first mission and your first goal should just be to learn, to plan out your life so that you could CO-EXIST.
What does that mean? If you start to co-exist and you start to think to yourself, okay, you go your way, I go, my way we go in parallel. And what we’re doing is each one is us is building our own lives in parallel and the only thing that we have in common are the kids. And that means that you’re only trying to co-exist, which means that you’re trying to rebuild your life and the other parent is trying to rebuild their lives. So once everyone is trying to rebuild their lives and their focus is on rebuilding, you’re not going to want to fight, and you’re not going to want to spend the 10, 15, $20,000 in legal fees. You’re not going to fight over grilled cheese sandwiches and Sally’s pink shoes.
You’re not going to do that anymore because it’s just not going to be important. Your values, your morals, the maturity that you’re going into this divorce are going to make you or break you. So the success of your divorce and the amount of money that you spend in your divorce will all starts off and ends off with YOU.
It’s how you respond, how you show up in this world, how you behave and what’s important to you. So, if you join us at the Divorce by Rose community, we’re going to show you how to decipher and how to decide what IS important to you. What is NOT important to you? The Divorce by Rose community was specifically designed to bring parents together with coaches, experts, and professionals. Why? Because you have questions, concerns, worries, and anxieties. And we know that you’re walking into a whole world of unknown and these coaches, experts, and professionals have the tools, the strategies, the wisdom, the knowledge and the experience to tell you what you could do and what you should do and what are your options.
And then you get to decide what you want to do from that point forward. We bring these two worlds together because otherwise we know that you’re not going to meet. And then you’re just going to make your decisions based on emotions rather than on logic.
To keep your costs as low as possible, from my own personal experience I explain why I should NOT have divorced without coaches and how I honestly (and wrongfully) believed that I only needed a divorce attorney and therapist to get me through my toughest days.
Divorce is NOT just about the past and the law, it is about YOU re-creating, re-invigorating the old part of you that got lost and re-establishing your life. In order to RE your life, you must take logical and methodical decisions. We help make this easier for you via our bite-sized divorce courses that will teach you things now that you may only learn “after” all the pain and suffering. Have a look at how you can logically plan your divorce, how to get your divorce finances and budget in order and also, make sure you have a look at our FREE course the 5 Key Strategies to AVOID a nasty divorce.