Divorcing? Honor Your Marriage!

I often say that it could be that divorce is worse than death. And the reason I say that is because when there is a death of your spouse or your loved one, at the end of the day, after all the grieving and the loss of whatever was, you’re still left with good memories.

You want to remember the good days. You want to remember the good times you had together. You want to remember all the good that came out of your togetherness, your marriage, your union, your love. When you are getting divorced, it is the polar opposite. You want to scratch all that. You want to forget every good that possibly happened. You literally, in an instant, overnight, are eliminating every possible good memory that you have together.

And I have to tell you that is wrong.

We have to learn to honor our marriage.

Whatever it’s worth- we had good days, we had good moments, we had opportunities, we had miracles, we had children, we had good moments. And if you focus on the fact that “You know what, we had some good moments together, we don’t get along, we shouldn’t be together anymore, it didn’t work out, we’re two different people, whatever the reason is, but I still honor what we had…” If you start to think that way, you will have such an easier, post-divorce life, rather than starting off your separation with this animosity, and all this craziness and this hatred and vengeful games and wanting to stick daggers into each others’ hearts and destroying each other which will end up leaving you more tarnished, than if you just said to yourself, “You know what… I honor my marriage, I honor what was”. It doesn’t necessarily mean that it has to be that way forever and it’s OK. Life changes, we evolve, we change, new circumstances arrive, new opportunities come up.” You will have a much easier, better, more peaceful life and your headspace is going to be so much cleaner. Your thoughts are going to be cleaner. Your decision-making process is going to be cleaner- where you’re going to be thinking the most about “How am I going to make this better… How am I going to make my post-divorce life more at ease with what it is I WANT to do” VS  “How am I going to screw him/her over? How am I going to get revenge? How am I going to make sure I’m heard?”

Those are all games! Those are nasty games! Those are really unnecessary.

So, if you’re looking for tools and strategies to learn how to honor your marriage or how to walk out of your marriage thinking “Whatever was, was, and now it’s time for something new.” If you’re ready to learn new tips, and strategies and tools, please join us at Divorce by Rose.

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