Still sad 10 years after divorce: I was thrown into one tornado after another, unwillingly and with total confusion.
My best divorce advice comes from my own journey- my life has not been easy in the past decade. I was thrown into one tornado after another. Unwillingly and with total confusion. But I came out BETTER than I was before my divorce. You know why? Because I understood the deep-rooted reasons WHY I suffered for so many years and HOW I ended up broke & broken.
I am quite certain your story is (or will be) …
When I got divorced 10 years ago, I thought it was going to be really easy. It turned out to be extremely litigious. I didn’t know what I was doing for many, many years.
I thought he was going to go his way and I’ll go my way where we each go our separate ways and everybody goes on and lives life.
I was sadly, sadly mistaken.
The pain of divorce never goes away when you don’t learn from your mistakes:
A few years after my separation, I ended up starting a business with an uncle, who a few years later literally stole the entire business from me. He literally took everything from under my feet and threw me out like a stray dog into the woods. And I had no idea what to do with my life anymore.
I dipped. I went through depression, I had no idea what I was going to do in my life, and I was questioning everything. I questioned God, I questioned myself, I questioned life, I questioned the Universe. And I said, “Why me? Why me? Why did I have to go through this? What did I do wrong? Did I do something? Am I a bad person? I questioned everything. I couldn’t understand how on earth it’s possible that I could have gone through one saga after another, and so many things were happening all at the same time.
At the time I was journaling, and one of my employees said to me, “What are you doing lately? You seem to be really good lately. What are you doing?” And I said, “I don’t know, I’m just journaling. I’m just writing all my thoughts and purging them onto a piece of paper. He said “Let me read it!” and I’m like, “No that’s trash talk. Nobody wants to read that stuff. No one wants to see that. Besides that, you’re going to quit your job and I don’t want you to quit.” So, he said, “Come on. Let me just read it.” And I let him read it and when he came back to me he said, “Ravit my dear, you’ve got yourself a book. You’ve got a story to tell and the world needs to hear what you’ve figured out.”
So, fast forward many years later, I published my book, Unwanted Nasty Divorces. And the purpose of that book at the beginning was just to purge it all out. Just to show people and explain to people that divorce is a nasty game. And if you don’t know how to play the game, you’re at an odd. You are in the deficits and the minuses if you don’t understand how to play. And the problem is that we don’t know how to marry and we certainly don’t know how to divorce either. So, a lot of us end up going through that difficulty, end up going through a nasty divorce because we just don’t know how else to do it. We just don’t know where else to go. We don’t know how to do this. We don’t know where to start. We don’t know how to create a strategy. We don’t know how to do anything, so we kind of just go with our emotions, and whatever emotions tell us to do is what we do.
How to move on after divorce for a man and for a woman comes from finding yourself again:
I found myself when I became a Divorce Coach and that’s why I started my Divorce by Rose Community app. It was because I know that when I needed the help the most, and I needed direction, and I needed guidance, and I needed assurance, and I needed someone to say, “Do this or if you do that then, you, know plan the x, y, and z is going to happen and evaluate whether that’s worth it or not for you”, I couldn’t find who to talk to.
And so, I didn’t find that. I did not have the direction I needed and I’m pretty sure that if I had the support and the direction, and the guidance, and someone to really go step by step with me and help me figure it out, and help me grow and evolve and all that, I’m pretty sure I would have never spent $80,000 in legal fees, and I’m pretty sure I would have never gone through 10 years of chaos.
Divorce can feel like the lost and found especially when you treat your divorce like a cross comparisson with all the “stories” you’ve heard.
Want to avoid my path?
So, from my heart to yours, this is why I do what I do and this is why I became a Divorce Coach and a Divorce Mentor. And I hope that anything that I share -whether it’s my posts, whether it’s my videos, whether it’s my coaching, whether it’s just seeing a course available in Divorce by Rose- we help you logically plan your divorce, get your divorce finances and budget in order and teach you the 5 key strategies to AVOID a nasty divorce.
