How to survive a divorce as a man
One of the biggest problems with divorce is that men and dads are trying to divorce alone. They’re trying to figure it out on their own. Divorce is not something that you can just YouTube about and just figure it out on your own. It’s not something where the answer will just miraculously come to you. You have to surround yourself with a good support system. And that’s one of the advantages that mothers have is that they are really resourceful, good at communicating and finding new friends and people to listen to them.
One of the biggest issues is that men don’t necessarily have that.
Moving on after divorce as a man
And they can’t find the person to talk to and they can’t find that person to reach out to and they don’t know who to talk to because they don’t want to be ashamed. They don’t want to feel unworthy. They don’t want to feel like failures. They don’t want anyone to know about their worries, fears and anxieties because it’s embarrassing. And I understand not everybody’s comfortable to go and expose intimate details about their lives. Not everybody is comfortable to go and share their deepest, darkest secrets with others.
However, it is essential for dads to speak with others during this most difficult transition. If the man is not the type to feel at ease to share his deepest thoughts with someone he knows, he should find himself a “neutral” person. This would be someone who not only has no vested interest in the outcome but, one that is non-judgmental.
The most important consideration in divorce is NOT to do it ALONE. This is not a path to take on your own and try to “figure it out” unless, of course, you have this great need and desire to go through a whole load of trials and errors and go up the mountains and valleys for years to come. So, if you want to make life easier for you, it’s best to surround yourself with a support system, neutral people who don’t have a vested interest in the decisions that you make and really just want the best for you to find the solutions you’re looking for and to move forward with your life.
Do men regret divorce?
From my experiece, I have noticed that men do regret their decisins if they were not well thought out. And this could include whether the man made hasty decisions out of anger and animosity or, if he is too “giving” to only realize later that this was a bad decision.
And this is exactly why I created the Divorce by Rose community app. It’s because I know how hard it is to share your deepest worries and concerns with the world where someone may judge you or shame you or belittle you or make you feel like you’re not worthy. And I know how hard it is also in a world with social media to remain anonymous and for people not to really know what’s going on in your head -in your mind. And so, if you’re a dad and you’re having a hard time and you’re either contemplating divorce or newly separated and you need someone to talk to, you want to vent, you want someone to hear you out, you want to get neutral advice, you want to be supported, you want to support others because it makes you feel good to share with them what you’ve learned, what you’ve done and your successes, please join us at Divorce by Rose. Our coaches are ready to help you.
So, what can you do?
Men, dads, do you have a message for us? The moms really need to hear your voice. They need to understand what you are thinking, just as much as you need to hear their thoughts and perspectives. You should also know about Psychosclerosis so that you can try to avod it at all costs.
These 3 divorce worksheets will help you tremendously by looking at how to logically plan your divorce, how to get your divorce finances and budget in order and also, the 5 Key Strategies to AVOID a nasty divorce.