Worst age for divorce for children? Will I be hurting my child?
So many questions…
Parent, marriage and coaching: You know what the one main commonality is between all divorces across the world? No matter if you’re a low class, middle class, no class, CEO, Hollywood star, solopreneur – whatever it is you are, the one commonality is that your children and my children are all going to be leading the world one day. And if our children are messed up when they’re young, and they’re not getting the help that they need, and we’re not giving them the tools and the strategies that they need in order to get through the divorce and learn from the lessons, and take what they’re supposed to be taking, and leave aside what they don’t need to have anymore or what they don’t need to hang onto anymore, you know what’s going to happen? Our future leaders that are going to take care of us when we’re old and gray are all going to be messed up.
How crazy is that?
Your kids and my kids are going to be leading the world. Your kids and my kids may end up getting married. They may end up being friends. They may end up working together. They may be colleagues. We don’t know. But what I do know is that if you and I don’t take care of our kids today and we don’t take care of the situation right now, when they’re young, when they’re sponges, when we still could, when they still listen to us, and when we still have that little opening into their hearts and their minds, then we’ve lost it.
How to tell your kids you’re getting a divorce: another thought to consider
So, we have to take this opportunity and not just feel like we need to be Hollywood stars, and we need to have a platform for it. It’s great, Hollywood starts have a platform to go and share their voice. But you and I also have a platform. And you know what the platform is? You go straight to your kids and you teach them the resilience and you teach them what they need to know and you make sure that you teach them everything that they need to know right now. So, when they grow up, they end up saying, “You know what? My parents’ divorce was pretty bad, but it’s okay, I’m totally fine right now.” That’s the outcome you want. That’s the outcome I want. That’s the outcome I think that we should all have as parents. Knowing that our kids actually ended up okay. It might have been tough. It might have been a little bit difficult at times. But at the end of the day, everyone’s okay. And that’s what divorce is supposed to be all about: your golden opportunity to recreate your new life, to redesign it as you want it to be, to redesign it as you want your kids to have that kind of life. Parent, marriage and coaching- it’s quite a marvelous combination!
How does divorce work with a child?
With the proper tools, this can be an easier process. If you “wing” it, you will face a lot of wind and turbulence. First of all, you may want to consciously steer clear of what we, as humans, innately wish to do and that is to tell the stories to anyone who would listen. Then, once you ensure this is under control, I would focus on determining what divorce legacy you want to leave behind. This will determine how you act, feel and show UP right now. Your childen will feel your vibe and energy so, make sure it is a good one before you approach them!
I summarize your BEST strategies in these 3 divorce worksheets will help you tremendously by looking at how to logically plan your divorce, how to get your divorce finances and budget in order and also, the 5 Key Strategies to AVOID a nasty divorce.